Every family has its stories. Sometimes they are happy and sometimes sad. Family stories always invite us to listen, open our hearts and minds and make us understand what “facts and figures” can never tell.
Volunteering with ACED in March 2009, I had the privilege to visit some families at their homes around Bavel in Cambodia and listen to their stories.
These families belong to the poorest of the poor, but have been improving thanks to the support from ACED. Many families in Bavel District still have to live in poverty, have no land nor property, no education nor skills. They are ignorant as to how to make a living. Their children, especially daughters, sometimes don’t go to school or drop out at some point because they simply can’t afford to attend any longer or their parents need them as a hand at home.
As a consequence of their living conditions these families are vulnerable to domestic violence, human trafficking and illness. These problems, on the other hand, prevent them from solving their economic problems. A vicious cycle.
ACED gives funding and non-funding support to the poorest of the poor. ACED encourages the families to create change for themselves. Instead of telling them exactly what to do, ACED assists them to become proactive, to look after themselves and find solutions that really suit them.
The families who can benefit from ACED’s support are carefully chosen, applying a scoring-system that helps to identify the neediest families.
Visiting these families I had no intention to monitor or analyze their living conditions by objective criteria. Nor do I feel able to become their voice. So this is but my very personal account, a description from my point of view as a foreigner in this lovely country, as a guest of the hospitable and amiable people of Cambodia.
Our generous support is needed and greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Thorsten Meyer from Bonn, Germany
If you need further information or want to exchange ideas, please contact me at
meyer.bonn@web.de
Visit 1: Busy for business
It’s a big and busy family. They live in a narrow road, somewhere near Bavel. It’s late in the morning, almost lunchtime and they actually don’t have time for visitors like us right now. In front of their house they have boiled corn in a big pot for selling in the market. It’s just ready. A strong sour smell is coming from another corner. A woman is making rice noodles, grinding rice with water. A white liquid is quickly filling her bucket.
A whole bunch of children! The youngest is being rocked to sleep in a hammock by her granny. All babies in Cambodia receive this wonderful treatment, which may explain many adults love to lie in a hammock whenever they can spare a minute. Why don’t we do this in Europe? The other kids have a very keen eye on the foreign visitor, of course. They are all smiles and keep on calling out “hello”. That’s how kids usually react to white skin in the Cambodian countryside and this has always been such a marvellous reward to me, raising my spirit instantly, forgetting about dust and diarrhea in no time. A boy, maybe 11, prefers to give me a dirty look, a slingshot in his hand. Only very reluctantly does he join his brothers and sisters for the barang’s inevitable snapshot. Now they all look a little bit embarrassed. To be honest, I always feel ashamed, too, when I ask people – in particular the very poor – to pose for my camera.
When ACED first got in touch with this family in 2002, they were doing badly. 5 chicken, that was practically all they had. Granddad, an unskilled laborer, had lost his right leg.He had 8 children, only the boys went to school. This family had no idea how to support themselves. ACED provided for a pig and some money. More importantly, they encouraged and empowered them to become proactive, use their free time and look for ways to make a living. That’s how the noodle and corn business started. Today this family is much better off and proud of what they have achieved.
We better go now, they are being busy.
Visit 2: Cambodian children don’t always smile
The thatched house lies not far from Bavel, but somewhat forlorn in the midst of dry, brown rice fields. Just about 10 a.m. and it’s very hot already. Music fills the air. It’s the wedding season, this means khmer music all day and night. This place feels deserted, though. After quite a while an old lady says hello to the visitors from ACED. Her bony features don’t tell if she is impressed by having a foreign caller. She invites us to take a seat. No smile brightens her face.
78 years of age, she is alone at home, looking after two children. A five-year-old girl is carrying her little brother on her hip. His nose is running. A big girl has to look after her younger brothers and sisters. That goes without saying. Cambodian children always smile. These don’t.
In the shade right under her house, grandma starts braiding a straw mat in a way that seems to me a century-old tradition, using a simple loom, strings and bamboo trunks.
We join her in the shade and listen to her story. Her son-in-law died. Most of the family members are working in Thailand, trying to earn some money and to support their family back home. They haven’t sent anything for a while. She shakes her close-cropped skull and goes on with her work. I would never dare to ask about the hardships of her life, how she survived the Khmer Rouge, decades of war and a whole life in poverty. I can only guess.
I do ask about her work, though. It takes her about three hours to produce one of those mats. This occupation helps her to make a little money, gives her something to do and use her skills. ACED has encouraged her to take up this work. This family used to be very difficult to approach. Being very poor they felt outsiders in their community. Poverty makes people lonely, no matter where. ACED has given support and kept in touch, coming for a visit now and then and check. The family has made some progress. We leave. No smile.
Visit 3: Building up
As we stop on our moto-bike in front of her house, the whole neighborhood gets excited. It’s in the early afternoon, just after lunch and no-one has expected the visitors from ACED, not in the least with a barang, i. e. foreign, volunteer on board. A woman in her fifties is being the head of the family, her husband working in Thailand as a builder. She greets us with a shy smile that becomes more and more confident while we are staying. We are invited to take a seat under her stilt house in the shade.
Sitting comfortably on a pallet, we are soon surrounded by a big family and many neighbors. A little boy is obviously fascinated by my big white toe and keeps on pinching it. “This family is now much better off than it used to be”, my ACED colleague tells me. Especially the housing has improved: This family prides itself of a new house. In Cambodia, I have learned, a house tells you almost everything about how a family is doing – the size, the material (thatch, wood, corrugated iron, stone…) and the height of the stilts the house rests on. In this case, the headroom is quite comfortable even for me. A good sign, not only for my head.
When ACED got in touch with this family, they were living in a very simple, thatched cabin. With the help of ACED they managed to build a proper house and even a small attachment they use as their kitchen. A teenage girl, lying on her stomach, is just doing her homework there. She is very keen on studying, but has had to drop out of school because her bicycle is broken and there is no other transportation. This is not the only problem the family is trying to cope with. A son-in-law walked out on the family recently. Women are running the family. And they are building again, a pigsty and a proper toilet. What`s more, these people have been building up confidence. This home visit made me leave with a smile. Change seems possible.
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